Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

Why are liberals so bad at grasping alternative facts? For example, if something doesn’t happen the exact same way Trump described it, liberals dismiss it as false; while conservatives are able to fully understand the underlying principle.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What is the kinkiest thing you and your sex partner have done in bed?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

Have you been arrested or investigated?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What are the best items to buy from a furniture shop?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why is there so much free porn on the internet?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

What made you feel disgusted today?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

Orton advances in the King of the Ring after the Paul Heyman Guys screw LA Knight - Cageside Seats

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I actually pay taxes

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why is going on a date today so much different than it was when I was young?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”